As The Year Ends....

As the year ends,
New beginnings take shape.
Old forms of myself come to the realization that,
the time for improvement has come and gone.
knowing better and doing better have become better acquainted.
Listening and learning are one in the same.
and Prayer, Power, Patience, and Practice are habits, Not to be broken.
But Words to be spoken,
lines to be quotin'
because the time for jokin is up in smoke and,
all thats left to do is Go Get Whats there for you.

but the best thing about THAT is THIS...
Whats there is only there for you...
it can only be taken by you...
it can only be conceived by you,
and it can surely only be lost by you...

so as the year ends...make better choices...
hear smarter voices..
and ignore what the noise is....
because thats all it is....
noise...

Author Owt........ayo

Beautiful.Meaningless.Words

All these mediocre moments stem from the many broken pieces in my chest...
The long nights are somehow, longer,
The taste of defeat is somewhat stronger,
And that lonely feeling I was fleeing, and thought I had left in the dust,
Has somehow managed to catch up with me and weigh me down...
Every lyric that remind me of us is crushed...
No more reminders of the goodtimes...
Every...beautiful..phrase..
Shot and killed in a drive by like...
Fly by nite...
Off your mind, if out of your sight...
Vocab is viciously mutilated and torn from its meaning...
The fabric of our love is ripped at the seam, seeming...
Like it was weaker than what we were dreaming...
How many of the words meant nothing?
When did the definitions become figments of "Love's" imagination?
Seems so easy to remember how to forget...
How did I let this happen?
I would love to blame me, then maybe I could fix what's missing...
But if its just 'apart' we're drifting, then eventually, the load we're lifting, won't be worth the sand we're sifting...
Times are shifting...
And it looks like all the beautiful words meant nothing..
Beautiful.Meaningless.Words
-Author Penzwell

Just an Update...

So recently, the financial institution I work for has found another way to disappoint me. But its cool, iAlready know how to deal with "them"..u have to stay in their face until the get sick of you and give u whatchu been askin for....

In other news, I'm ready for my trip to Hilton Head to see my bff Jenji..(Jen-Jee). She left May 22nd and I've missed her TOO much! Lol..that's all imma say about THAT!!

I think life is takin a turn for me. I have a good job (that I hate) and I've recently added to my home studio, so the music is crankin!!

Don't worry, I'm still gonna lace my followers with the poetry u look for when u hit up the blog...*ayo*

Twisted visions, I pay attention and listen close...
They say I'm sick but they can't provide me with the proper dose....
Nothin else has serves as adequate, I keep searchin...
Let the heart heal, doesn't mean it stops hurtin...

But hopefully, this new endevor acts as medication...
Motivation for my soul to keep from hesitatin...
The complications of past filled with new frustrations...
The elevation of man, pride levitatin...

But I'm waitin...
And ill be here...
Til you're ready...

Look For Me At Midnight

The heat beams intense,
No breeze in sight,
For miles and miles only pain and struggle await thee,

Look for me at Midnight...

Loneliness devours you,
Fear restricts you,
And heartache lingers,

Look for me at Midnight...

When the sky has fallen,
The ground has risen,
And ure caught somewhere in between the two,

Look for me at Midnight...

When the waves no longer crash,
And the sound of silence begins to drive u insane,

Look for me at Midnight...

If u find urself, BY yourself,
Inside yourself, beside yourself,

Look for me at Midnight...

the sun has fallen out of your sky,
Blackness plagues the horizon while only the thought of ur ultimate defeat crosses ur mind,
You know not what to do, prayer has worked thus far but now all u have left is looking forward to the answer,

The reply, the response...is coming...

Anxious, nervous, jittery, u shake in panic,
Tho not blind, your sight is fading,
Ur faith is brutally beaten by doubt,
U need a way out..

Look for me at Midnight...

The 11th hour is here...
10minutes in, the sting of despair has numbed ur soul..
20minutes in, the agony is understandably staggering...
30minutes in, you thought u were finished, but somehow ur physical outlasted ur mental anguish,
40minutes in, the pressure sets in and begins to crush u....

But look...

50minutes in, ure not done yet

Your suffering, that should have ended u 50minutes ago, has not destroyed you...

Not yet....

Beyond the screams of turmoil, you hear a voice..
11:51 has not killed you
11:52 has not brainwashed you
11:53 has not weakened your resolve
11:54 has not takin your spirit
11:55 brought you hope
11:56 carried you through the impossible
11:57 showed you how much you really cared
11:58 made you wait...

Wait.....

11:59 is here, ...and so are you...

The pain stops, the fear fades, your heart races, the tears dry,...
the sky breaks, the rain falls, the lightning strikes and cast a layer of light, to signify that your and the darkest hour has passed..
your time has come...
your love is here...
your heart is whole...
your search is complete...

Midnight...
Do you see me??

Anniversary Ending..tough..(lol..irony)

Move Made...Check Mate..Today at 9:58am--this is def. a response....lol....funny how somebody can take "saying one thing and doing another" as a miscommunication...also like it was some big burden to do me a favor...like i ddnt make any inconvenient sacrifices for them recently or in the past......but thats not why i did it....and im sure thats not why youve sacrificed....but it becomes really apparent when a person is just satisfied with the "oh well"..when they'd rather not try when they've clearly seemed to have done somethin wrong....funny how they love to play the bad guy....just like to be seen as the one who is being blamed...yet take no consideration as to why someone would feel that way...like why would i blame you for stuff you not doin??...lol..im really laughin cuz i think im crazy....i mean it may be subliminal or intentional but the reason people resort to old behavior is because deep down they only care when its convenient to..which is why I or we, said we weren't ready...its not the first time we've reachd an avoidable, "miscommunication...it IS constant, and the attitude and response felt, oh so predictable. ....its hard to change that I guess....which is fine.....so be it....maybe im wrong..maybe not..im just as tired as you are....you tried....ill give you thati guess right now youre just more protective or understanding of your friends than you are of me...which is what I tried to avoid last time I became so distant..its understandable....i can dig it...i guess i gotta man up huh lol...ill be iight...really...i truly love you and wish you the best...im sure this will lead to some kinna talk in the future....but remember...youre tired....and i really tried over lookin the constant aggravation of you bein aggravated at everything i do...over-looked the fact the party habits......only cus ive been there and done that..i understand....i guess we just in two different worlds....seems like we just cant see eye to eye right now...i guess the way i see your behavior and the way you see mine will never meet in the middle...at least not now....so like i said...ill see it my way...ull see it yours.....and like You said....who are we foolin....cuz im just as tired as u are...otherwise...idk....

2010 Wuddup

I know this is my first post in a bit...but hey..iGetsBusy lol...but yea...New Years was good..I now have a better job with a nice company and --BENEFITS--lol
But yea I'm in ATL at the moment, doing a show for the King Family...MLK baby..R.I.P. Big homie...
But yea, we co-wrote a song for the King Family and their church...so they've asked us to come and perform it. So here we are!...I'll letchu know how it goes...stay tuned!
¤!Ayo!¤